How You Help: A Holocaust Survivor’s Teaching Changes Lives

Gifted Teacher Fights for Human Dignity, Shared Values

I think your words will stick with me for the rest of my remaining life. When you said “Treat others how you want to be treated,” it really hit me. When you said it from your perspective it felt like bolts of electricity running through my body.

  —Sincerely, Jimmy (from letter after talk at local school)

In the last year, according to the Nancy & David Wolf Holocaust & Humanity Center, Holocaust survivor Dr. Al Miller has spoken to 3,080 people about the lessons he has learned as a Holocaust survivor, more than any other speaker working with the HHC. He has been sharing his story around Cincinnati, in classrooms and at programs and events, for the last two decades.

That generous gift of Dr. Miller’s time comes with its own small miracle: Miller, who was born in Berlin, is also a gifted teacher. “It’s his passion, his sensitivity, his kindness,” says Sarah Weiss, HHC’s Executive Director. “We are lucky to have him.”

“Dear Dr. Miller, You are an amazing person with a strong soul, and I learned tons with your wisdom. Warm regards and respect. —Germaine

Dr. Miller shares one example of talking with students about their own values by discussing the Pledge of Allegiance: “I say: You are already promising to be fair to people. Chances are that you promised it this morning. They don’t know what I’m talking about. So I tell them: you stood up, you put your hand over your heart, and you said in unison “with liberty and justice for all.” Did you listen to what you were saying, or did you just rattle it right off because you do it every day? What do you mean by liberty? Well, they always say, well that means freedom. And I say that’s exactly right. The freedom that you want for yourself, you’re promising to allow that to all. What is justice— justice is fairness; if you are fair to all, meaning you treat everybody the same, that’s being just. Now, who is “all.” “All” means everybody who you will come in contact with through your whole life. The people you meet, you want to pledge to them, liberty and justice, for all!” He laughs because of his own vehemence.

Dr. Miller began this work “almost by accident,” at 72 years old, but now, at 96, he thrives on it: “I thought I could help,” he says. His first-person, slightly accented storytelling clearly affects the students.

“I could write forever about how much I liked your speech but I can’t put it all in words. I can only say I will always save this experience of meeting a Holocaust survivor, in my heart. —Elizabeth

“People come up to me afterwards, and they seem very sincere,” says Dr. Miller. “I got to them somehow; I got to the inside of them somehow. Now that doesn’t mean that it lasts. I have no illusions whatsoever. You don’t change human nature. But I hope they take away something. I hope that the kids, particularly, take away something.”

When asked what makes him a good storyteller, Dr. Miller demurs: “I didn’t know that I was.” But he has done public speaking since his early twenties, and he says, “It comes natural.”

When asked if he’s proud of his two decades of Holocaust education work, Dr. Miller says that “proud” is not the right word, but that rather he gets “a feeling of satisfaction” from the work. “I can’t say really why, it’s not a clear-cut reason. I feel I really want to do and have to do it.” He laughs, “When I go three to four days without a speech now, I call them and say what’s going on!?” His endurance is impressive, and not only in teaching: Dr. Miller still regularly walks in 5k races, and has a shelf full of trophies for winning in his age category. He lives in Mason with his wife Janie. They have three sons, eight grandchildren, and one great-grandchild.

While refusing the idea that the Holocaust has one simple lesson, Miller does emphasize two points in many of his speeches: both are about values. The first is cultural: “You can always evaluate the worth of a society by how it treats its minorities.” The second is the golden rule: He says, “Don’t do to others what you don’t want done to yourself. That pertains to people to any age whatsoever. If everyone would do that, there would be peace the day after tomorrow.”   

“My grandpa lived in Denmark during that time and he hid Jewish people in his father’s greenhouse.  He also came to America, you guys could’ve been on the same boat.” —Sam

On January 27, the HHC will mark another chapter in its growth as it celebrates its Grand Opening at Union Terminal. The Jewish Federation is proud to have successfully executed the capital campaign to build the new HHC at Union Terminal. Al Miller will be there for the ceremonies. He says, “I wouldn’t want to miss it.”

Donors to the Jewish Federation support Dr. Miller’s teaching on the Holocaust through their support of the Coppel Speakers’ Bureau at the HHC, which currently coordinates the talks of 16 speakers.

Why I Give: A Responsibility to Be Involved

Bobby Fisher talks about why he gives back to Cincinnati and its Jewish community.
 

In the Federation’s “Why I Give” series, I have the opportunity to share why people give to our community.—Danielle

 
Danielle Minson:  Bobby, why do you give and volunteer in the Jewish community?

Bobby Fisher:  Well, I think it’s simple. We are expected to give back, according to our teachings. And I’ve always had very good role models in my parents and my grandparents, to the extent that they could afford it. One set of grandparents really couldn’t, another set of grandparents very much could, and they were very generous. So that has in part motivated me as well as my parents and observing the vast needs of our community and the broader Jewish community.

But I think also, you have to have it, in a way. You have to “feel it” in your kishkas [Yiddish: something deep within you]—the desire to give back. You don’t have to look too far to see people who need help. So I think that there’s a responsibility to be involved in giving.

Also, I do feel a deep sense of moral obligation to help those who are not in a position—be they Jewish or not Jewish—to take care of themselves. This is one of the principles espoused by Maimonides; we would feel even better if people didn’t know what we gave or who we did it for. I mean it’s really that simple.

Danielle: Is there a motivating incident in your giving?

Bobby:  There’s no incident in my life that motivated me to give: it’s kind of always been there.

One of the things I had tried to do, as I know Arna [Bobby’s wife] has tried to do, and my first wife has tried to do as well, is we’ve always tried to model. You can’t dictate to your children. By actually being involved, hopefully some of that will wear off on our kids.

Danielle: Can you talk about leading, with Arna, the capital campaign for the new Nancy & David Wolf Holocaust & Humanity Center (HHC), to allow it to relocate to Union Terminal?

Bobby: Shep [Englander, CEO of the Jewish Federation] and Sarah [Weiss, CEO of the HHC] came to Arna and myself and said they wanted us to lead that campaign. It brought together two of my true loves and that’s the city of Cincinnati, and the Jewish community. I love Cincinnati, but I know there’s a lot that needs to be improved from many different standpoints including diversity, social justice, inclusion, etcetera. So it brought those two things together and before they left I think we told them “yes” right there. We didn’t even have to think about it. Frankly, we were quite humbled to have been asked.

Danielle: What was the most emotional moment for you during the HHC campaign?

Bobby:  The realization of how broadly this was going to appeal not only to the Jewish community but to the broader community. It is actually unique in the United States that a Holocaust museum is located in an iconic public institution, the Cincinnati Union Terminal. That doesn’t exist anyplace else; it is now part of the civic dialogue.

What’s also really important is that this is not solely focused on the Holocaust. My personal feeling is that it’s the Humanity portion which offers a unique opportunity to learn. It discusses current problems such as responding to genocide, standing up to hate, protecting civil rights, promoting pluralism and learning, and becoming an upstander. The impact that this all can have on us as individuals and as a community is enormous. And the timing is so important relative to what is going on in our society right now.

Danielle: Do you have a specific story about seeing the impact of your volunteering or your gift? Does anything come up for you?

Bobby:  I hope it doesn’t.

Danielle: You don’t have any memories? No one took you through a program that was helped by Federation?

Bobby: Well, first of all, again, back to Maimonides’s principles, you should be able to give the money and not be aware of the benefits that it hopefully has. In Israel I visited sites that are Federation beneficiaries, but locally here, no, I would not expect to. That would in some respects be undignified for the recipients.

Danielle: Absolutely. Different direction: can you talk about Arna’s and your decision to create a legacy gift?

Bobby:  Legacy giving is a wonderful thing. It is obviously important because whether Jewish Cincinnati can grow and maintain the same economic strength it currently has is always going to be a question. So for people who have the capacity, what a great way to leave a legacy and influence for the community.

For our family, we are often judged by our actions and not our words, so to do something is important. Arna and I have made a legacy gift because we want to leave some recognition of our feelings for the Cincinnati Jewish community and we want to support this community in the future, to the extent that we can. We want Cincinnati to be a Jewish destination city that supports the entire spectrum of our Jewish community.

Danielle Minson: What is the story about giving that you remember best?

Bobby Fisher:  I remember a conversation with my dad. I had been involved with Federation for longer than him at this point, but he had been involved for a few years. He was the chair of the Federation’s annual campaign that year, and that evening I was at a Young Leadership Cabinet retreat caucus. I got a call from him or I called him back [during a break]. He said that he and my mom were thinking about making a gift and wanted to know whether I thought it would be okay. I said to him, “Well, how much are you talking about?” And it was a substantial commitment. And I said, “Nothing would make me more proud and happy.” Dad said, “Alright, we’re gonna do it, great.” I have very, very fond and warm memories of that having happened.

Danielle: What’s your favorite part about being the major gifts cochair for the Jewish Federation’s 2019 Annual Campaign?

Bobby:  Bringing donuts to the meetings [general laughter].

Danielle: Why?

Bobby:  Just because. My favorite part about it is hopefully helping this community get back to an awareness of the importance of the Federation campaign.

Bobby Fisher and his wife, Arna, have eight children and 18 grandchildren. They live in Amberley and attend Congregation Sha’arei Torah. Together with his wife Arna, he led the capital campaign for the relocation of the Nancy & David Wolf Holocaust & Humanity Center to Union Terminal this January. He is also on the board of the Port Authority and the immediate past chair of the Cincinnati Regional Business Committee. Together with Adam Symson, he is cochair of Major Gifts for the Jewish Federation of Cincinnati’s 2019 Annual Campaign.

How You Help: Mila’s Story: Holocaust Survivor Thrives with Support of New Russian Jewish Cultural Center

Holocaust survivor finds much needed support and fulfilling community

On December 14, Mila Denisenko celebrated her 90th birthday at the Russian Jewish Cultural Center surrounded by friends. Speaking Russian, they shared anecdotes about her life and their history together. Some praised her well-known gift for singing. Delicious Russian-style birthday cake was served, along with much food and laughter. As befitted such a milestone, Mila received a bouquet of red roses.

In sum, it was a beautiful party with people who really understand Mila. Later, asked her favorite thing about the Center, Mila said, “I like it so much that we can communicate with each other, and that we have a lot in common, and perhaps the same way of thinking” (Mila’s quotes throughout are via interpreter).

It may look like just a room on the first floor of the Mayerson JCC—but the Center is the vibrant heart of a community about 130 strong. Run by Jewish Family Service (JFS), the Russian Jewish Cultural Center mobilizes a network of life management care and offers a steady flow of engaging opportunities for the Russian-speaking Jewish community. Funded by the Jewish Federation of Cincinnati, the Center is relatively new.

It began in June 2017, when JFS agreed to care for a vulnerable population of Russian-speaking Jewish older adults who no longer had a place to be together and to create community. All have a JFS caseworker. Roughly 60 percent are Holocaust survivors; some are decorated veterans who, as soldiers in the Soviet army, helped defeat Hitler. Many of them, including Mila, have ongoing difficulty with English.

“They deserve to live in dignity,” said Luda Gikhman, JFS’s manager of the Center. “The cultural differences matter so much. They know what it is like to be forbidden to celebrate Rosh Hashanah or Yom Kippur; and be denied good jobs, and good education for their children, because of their Jewishness.”


Turmoil in Odessa

For Mila, such safety, freedom, and economic stability is new.

When she was a child, Mila’s family lived in Odessa. While Odessa had a substantial Jewish population and was “intellectual, with talented and gifted people, a cultural center,” said Mila, it was still problematic to express or practice one’s Judaism. “We were not supposed to speak in Hebrew and or to pray. Only at home where nobody could hear us,” she said. They didn’t celebrate Shabbat.

In 1941, when Mila was 12, the Axis powers conquered Odessa and she and her mother hid, escaping the Odessa Massacre (in which over 100,000 Jews were killed), and enduring the Nazi regime. Her biggest memory of that time, according to Mila, is being constantly on the run: cold, fearful, and hungry.

Even after the war, Mila’s family had a rough time. Having spoken out at work against the Soviet government, Mila’s mother was jailed, then incarcerated in a camp for 8 ½ years as a so-called “enemy of the people.” And antisemitism persisted. As late as the 1960s, when looking for work, Mila was asked if she was Jewish. Her aunt, a doctor, hid her Jewish identity.

As a mother with her own family, Mila lived in poverty. At one point the government officially recognized her and her son’s apartment as “unsuitable for living.” During this time, “we didn’t have a shower; we didn’t have hot water,” said Mila.

Playing games at the Russian Jewish Cultural Center.

So when Mikhail Gorbachev and Perestroika opened up their chances for successful emigration, they followed Mila’s younger brother to the US, arriving in Cincinnati in 1989.

“God Bless America”

Can there be a homecoming in a new land? “In order to know what it means to live well, it turns out you need to leave your own country” said Mila. “When we share memories and conversations at the Center, we usually just end with ‘God bless America.’”

Her friends here are an important island of familiarity: they “have experienced the same life as I did. Hunger and all the hard challenges of life. These people understand what the United States offers better than anybody else.”


Center offers respect and a dignified life

The Russian Jewish Cultural Center gives Mila respect and a more manageable life.

While Mila has family—a son who lives 35 to 40 minutes away, and grandchildren—she lives alone in an apartment in Golf Manor, and enjoys the Center almost every weekday. Mila says the Center’s staff gives everyone “a lot of attention and a lot of care, so that everybody feels important and has someone to talk to. Thanks to the Center, we don’t feel alone.”

The Song-Lovers Club at the Russian Jewish Cultural Center has been singing together for over 20 years (Mila in black).

The Center provides professionals who can help with bills, conversations in English with doctors, and a range of life management needs. Its social workers help with citizenship issues, translation of documents, and more. The Center counters social isolation, which can be dangerous. (According to the AARP Foundation, the health risks of prolonged isolation are equivalent to smoking 15 cigarettes a day.) The Center’s Russian-language programming includes issue-related discussion groups, poetry readings, a singing group that Mila enjoys called the Song-Lovers Club, and communal celebration of Russian Jewish holidays.

Mila sums it up, saying, “I think that the Russian Center is like a home, it gives me life. It makes our lives better. Everybody my age needs this help.”  

How You Help: “You Gotta Keep Smiling:” Helping Batya Find a Job She Loves

JVS Career Services’ network and coaching was key

“Do not give up! You gotta keep smiling, you gotta keep plugging away at getting a job. Do not give up whatever you do. ’Cause I got frustrated, but I kept going and I got a job.”

With that pronouncement, Batya Selavan grins. A quick talker who exudes energy and confidence, she’s standing by the oversize gold bell at JVS Career Services in Blue Ash. It’s clear that being asked to offer advice to those still looking for work has hit a chord.

It was a long and difficult road for a motivated worker. After ten years scanning medical records, Batya attended vocational school at Scarlet Oaks to become a medical billing and coding specialist, which she had hoped would be a step up. However Batya searched for more than seven months, applying for 60 different jobs. With no luck.

“I try to approach things in a positive way, but I felt very frustrated. Why hadn’t people called? I went on a couple of interviews and didn’t get hired, but I didn’t give up because I had to make ends meet,” she said.

Then Batya found JVS Career Services, a local nonprofit that helps job-seeking individuals find meaningful work, and met Kim Slaton, the Managing Director there.

“Over the course of a year, we helped Batya through coaching, practical support, punching up her resume, connections to possible employers, and more,” said Slaton. Because of her previous food service experience, they also decided to open up Batya’s options to include food service jobs.

“Kim seems to really network with a lot of employers, so when I go to the interview, it’s like they already know me already, and the next thing I know I’m getting hired for a job,” said Batya. “She reached out to people and sold me in a sense.”

Things looked good right away. “I came for an interview, and here I see Drew [Brown, Director of Food Services and Strategic Initiatives at the Mayerson JCC,] and I had worked with him 20 years ago, and I thought that was pretty cool. We had a nice conversation and they gave me a tour of the [JCC] kitchens. Then I had a working interview, and they were impressed with how fast I was washing dishes, so the next thing I know, I’m hired. And they said: no probation period for me, that was it, they found their team,” said Batya, smiling.

Asked about Batya’s experience, Slaton said, “She stuck with it, she was game for anything. I loved seeing her pride after she got her job at the JCC.”

“The people at JVS have just been wonderful with their motivation and their support,” said Batya.

Batya immediately thrived personally and professionally. “[Soon] they had a Jewish community day at the ball park and we got t-shirts that said “Cincinnati” in Hebrew. While I was there I got a message from Kim and she said that Temple Sholom was looking for someone two nights a week to be kitchen supervisor. I said okay, and I went for the interview and I got hired on the spot. That was very cool.”

Anyone can see that Batya works extremely hard. She has continued a 10-year part-time position at Sears, and will keep the new part-time job at Temple Sholom too.

But her full-time kitchen job at the JCC is her new family. Batya works in the kitchen prepping and washing dishes. As she wrote in an email early on, “I had a blast today. This job is a keeper!”

Asked how Batya has been getting settled in, her supervisor Drew Brown praises her work. “Batya has been one of the best hires I have made in my career as a chef. She has quickly become indispensable.”

But perhaps Batya herself best says what a job can do to better someone’s life: “I’ve found I have a new extended family here now. When they had the Israel celebration, I helped hand out tea, and we were involved in Adath Israel’s Kosher BBQ. Our crew—there’s no us and them. We’re all together. That’s a good thing.”

As is the tradition at JVS Career Services, Batya came back to visit and to ring the gold bell that everyone who succeeds in getting a job rings to celebrate. She said, “When I rang the bell there was that good feeling of adrenaline—and I just went wham!” And true to form, she kept on smiling.

Why We Give: Yosef Never Met Esther, But He Made her Dreams Come True

Cincinnati natives Esther Becker and Yosef Kirschner never met, but their story about building Cincinnati’s Jewish community together echoes the Talmud’s tale of Honi and the carob tree. In this story, the grandfather plants a tree that 70 years later, after he is gone, bears fruit and becomes a gift for the grandchild.

While they were alive, Esther and her husband Maurice lived humble, modest lives. They worked hard, running a small family business together. Maurice was known for his honesty and his devotion to his wife and daughter. Esther was known for her caring, openness, and a wonderful sense of humor.

Yosef and his wife Elka are Jewish young professionals from Amberley. Two years into their marriage, no children yet, they are busy exploring their new married world together. They were looking to expand their network of friendships in the Jewish community, but didn’t know how. Though they are part of the close-knit Orthodox community, while Yosef was attending the University of Cincinnati for his engineering degree he had been unable to find a new network of Jewish young adults.

How to Grow a Carob Tree

Esther and Maurice didn’t come from money, but Maurice invested carefully, and apparently successfully, in the stock market.

Esther liked to quote her mother, who had said, “A bissel and a bissel makes a whole schissel;” meaning a little bit and a little bit makes a whole lot. And bissel by bissel is how Esther described the couple’s accumulation of wealth.

Esther and Maurice were “true members of the community,” as former Jewish Federation of Cincinnati president Andy Berger said. They participated in many community organizations throughout their lives, including Golf Manor Synagogue, the Mayerson JCC, and Cedar Village. When Esther was young, the Jewish community assisted her family with food, clothing, and education.

After Maurice passed, Esther continued her involvement, benefiting from and appreciating what the community had to offer. According to Jan Frankel, her executor, Esther loved coming to the senior lunches at the Mayerson JCC.

Esther was “a very special person, always looked for a reason: how can I help others…If that person is a Jew, and I can do something for them, that’s what she was looking for,” said Tsippy Gottlieb, the former Senior Adult Services Director at the JCC.

The true surprise was that in 2012, at the end of Esther’s life, she left the Jewish Federation of Cincinnati an endowment of $1.75 million.

Esther’s Dream

Esther’s priorities were Jewish: “Esther was intent on preserving her Jewish identity and the Jewish identity of all of the community,” says Frankel. The purpose of her gift is to ensure that Cincinnati has a vital, thriving Jewish community. That was her dream.

And Yosef is now making Esther’s dream come true.

How? With Esther’s help. Just seven months ago, with the help of the Federation, Esther’s gift—now called the Esther and Maurice Becker Networking and Mentoring Center—launched Cincinnati Vine. This website and app works as a central interactive hub for young Jewish adults to connect to each other and the Cincinnati Jewish community.

“I wanted to connect the Orthodox community with the greater community; I felt like I could give a lot, so I was really looking for that,” said Yosef. “But I didn’t know how to get involved. Then this thing called Cincinnati Vine popped up. I heard about it through some friends, I checked it out online, and it was just a great format and had all these different events I could go to. And I started slowly going.”

Yosef’s Dream

For Yosef and Elka, things escalated quickly. By now they’ve been to 15 events and have themselves hosted two Shabbat dinners. They’ve made a lot of friends.

Yosef’s favorite event so far? “Latkapalooza. And the happy hours are always a lot of fun, in cool venues.”

It’s become, for Yosef and many others, something truly new: a Vine community. In only seven months. Esther would, one hopes, be kvelling.

And so, Yosef benefits from and also furthers Esther’s legacy. He wants to become what’s called an “ambassador” for the Vine community. And he is bringing his friends along. “There’s a lot of opportunity to build bridges, and make our community a really cohesive place, where everybody can work together and understand each other.” He grins with enthusiasm.

In a sweet twist, Yosef is helping Esther’s dream come true, while Esther is helping Yosef create the community he and Elka have wanted for years. And that’s good for our whole Jewish community. One person helps another, bissel by bissel, and even perhaps carob tree by carob tree.

Sally Korkin Honored with Mesel Wieder “Mensch” Award

“To me being a mensch means having a good heart. It means doing the right thing and instilling good values in your children.” 

—Sally Korkin, Mesel Wieder “Mensch” Award Winner

To be called a mensch is the highest praise in our community. On May 29 at their annual Sustainers Event, the Jewish Federation of Cincinnati honored Sally Korkin with the Mesel Wieder “Mensch” Award, which recognizes a person who quietly leads behind the scene in a Federation committee or a Create Your Jewish Legacy team to get things done. They truly exemplify the word mensch.

Asked how it felt to get the award, Korkin said, “I was very overwhelmed, surprised, thrilled, and honored.”

She also received a standing ovation.  Of that, Korkin said, “It was very humbling and very powerful.”

Korkin was nominated by Rockdale Temple Executive Director Karen Martin, who said, “Sally Korkin is a powerhouse.  We are so blessed to have her time, energy, and creativity at Rockdale Temple.”

The award was established in 1999 by friends of Mesel Wieder to honor his memory. They created the award to celebrate those in Cincinnati’s Jewish community like Mesel, who exemplified the meaning of the word mensch. Wieder survived the Holocaust in Ukraine. He was extremely involved in Adath Israel Synagogue and showed his dedication to education through volunteering for Rockwern Academy’s L’dor V’dor program. Wieder frequently attended Holocaust & Humanity Center programs. Wieder passed away in 2010 at the age of 96.

Korkin knew Wieder. “I remember him vividly,” she said. “He was this little man and he would come out to Cedar Village to visit people or to have lunch. And in the midst of anything, just kind of randomly, he would burst into song and sing ‘God Bless America.’”

A lifelong member of Rockdale Temple, Korkin is currently chair of Rockdale’s Create Your Jewish Legacy committee, Rockdale’s Board Secretary, and in line to become President of the Board in 2022, in time for their bicentennial in 2024. She was formerly on Cedar Village’s CYJL committee. Korkin has been a loyal volunteer for the Federation for many years. She also recently gained a new position as a member of the Cedar Village Foundation Board. She has served as a Big Sister to a girl from Russia who came over when she was 12; and has stayed close, attending her wedding just two weeks ago.

Korkin’s professional life has also been one of service to our community. After working at Cedar Village in various roles for 19 years, Korkin now brings her energy and public relations and marketing expertise to Hebrew Union College—Jewish Institute of Religion, working there part-time for three years.

In short, Korkin is extremely busy in her “retirement.” She laughed as she said, “My daughter said to me, you and Dad are the busiest retirees that we know!” Gerry Korkin has also been president of Rockdale, so they will become the first ever couple to each have been its president.

Korkin is rightly proud of her two daughters and five grandchildren. The family’s volunteerism is multigenerational. “Four of my grandchildren have done significant volunteer projects because their parents have carried on the tradition of volunteering, doing the right thing, and helping heal the world [her fifth is only four years old].”

It makes Korkin feel good “to know that we’ve passed these values on. And those values are something that I was taught by my parents.”

Asked what she would say to younger generations about the importance of volunteering, Korkin said, “I think now more than ever it’s really important to be a volunteer. In this world there are so many opportunities where you can help out and follow your passions. You don’t have to be a hands-on volunteer, if that’s something you don’t want to do. But everybody in their own way can be a volunteer.”

No Restrictions on the Trip of a Lifetime: Alex’s Story

A family finds Israel accessible to people living with disabilities who want to go to the Holy Land. 

“Alex always said it—next year in Jerusalem,” said Ariel Weiss, one of Cincinnati native Alex Heldman’s best friends. And of course every Jewish college student knows about Birthright, the free trip to Israel for 18- to 26-year-olds of Jewish heritage.

As a thriving Jewish 19-year-old sophomore at the University of Michigan, with Ariel as one of his housemates, Alex hadn’t gone to Israel yet when he flew to Hawaii for a family vacation and got really sick.

It was a nightmare. A virus attacked Alex’s system and after many rounds of medical intervention, including an induced six-month coma to survive non-stop epileptic seizures, he was left wheelchair-bound. Alex now has a diagnosis of severe epilepsy, currently under control with significant medication, and brain injury as a consequence of seizures and the coma.

According to his doctors, it is a miracle that Alex survived. “He was determined: it’s his character,” said his mother, Debbie Kirshner. She shares the story now, some eleven years later, sitting on the sofa in her condominium in Hyde Park with Ariel and her husband Paul Heldman.

Family life, post-miracle

What is family life like, once a miracle occurs? “For a long time we were all three focused on rehab,” said Debbie. But it was difficult: “We nearly lost him many times,” she said.

“Then Alex started talking about going to Israel again, and Ariel said she knew it could work, but we just thought No,” said Paul. Debbie listed some of the dangers: flying across multiple time zones can be dangerous when you have epilepsy, because it disrupts circadian rhythms. He needs to take his medications on a certain schedule and the change in sleeping patterns might also be dangerous. The doctors who know him best would be far away. All this, and Alex requires some assistance with mobility.

But it had been and continued to be Alex’s dream, and everyone—his parents, Ariel, and Alex himself—felt its power. “This was his lifelong dream, and he missed the opportunity to go on

Birthright because he was sick and in rehab,” said Debbie. Despite everything, Alex started researching, in depth, together with his speech therapist, more about Israel and where he would want to go in Israel. Masada.  The Kotel.  The Golan Heights. Jerusalem. He started attending synagogue more and visiting with his rabbi. Paul and Ariel researched possible trip providers who would fully include Alex in everything. Another close friend of Alex’s, Ari Goldberg, wanted to go to Israel with Alex as well. Ari decided, because he had been in Israel on his Birthright trip exactly when Alex first got sick, not only that he wanted to be but that he was meant to be the main support for Alex’s physical needs if they went. It was beshert.

It takes a village

Despite the many and daunting challenges, and after much conversation, Paul and Debbie agreed that this was going to work. And Alex’s doctor at the University of Michigan approved, declaring that Alex was medically stable and, “like anyone, is entitled to have some fun,” reported Paul.

So Paul and Debbie started planning, Ariel and Ari found ways to take off from their work and family lives, and Alex continued, in his determined way, to prepare for something he had been wanting to do since before college.

And in March it happened: they all went to Israel, together, with the help of Israel4All, an Israeli tour group that specializes in helping people with disabilities.

The trip of a lifetime

“My intentions on this trip were to be able to see what I missed out on in my youth, and see the land of my ancestors,” wrote Alex in response to emailed questions, from his current residence in Michigan.

The 13-day odyssey turned out to be the trip of a lifetime. Alex prayed at the Western Wall. They traveled to Masada, Jerusalem, the Syrian border, two kibbutzes, and more. They went to Hula Lake Park in the Hula Valley, where Jewish National Fund created one of a series of accessible nature trails, this one specifically for bird watching.

They ate delicious food everywhere and enjoyed each other, said Debbie, laughing—in shuks, in Jerusalem, at the Dead Sea; breakfast, lunch, and dinner, all at a leisurely pace that was perfect for Alex.

It was Alex’s dream come true, but also the dream come true of every individual on the trip.

In every location their guide, Eli Meiri, made sure that pragmatics like food, wheelchair-accessibility, and transportation were in place. He approached everything, including how he explained various sites or attractions, with Alex and his interests in mind. Meiri is the founder and president of Israel4All, but is also a trained social worker. “The trip was designed for Alex, at his pace; it required a tremendous amount of sensitivity and experience,” said Ariel.

“It was really a community experience,” Ariel continued. “Part of the pleasure for each of us was doing these Jewish, Israeli things together, creating those memories. I love remembering how much Alex enjoyed the jeep ride—not in a wheelchair—to the Syrian border. ”
 

Masada as resilience

Asked for the highlight of the trip, Alex wrote that it was Masada: “It is still a symbol of resilience, strength, and faith against seemingly insurmountable forces. Coming down from Masada, it reaffirmed my faith in Judaism’s continual will to live.”

In 2008, Israel’s Tourism Ministry shored up accessibility at tourist sites around the country, so Masada is now wheelchair-accessible. Alex noted that in Israel, he felt more accepted for who he is: “I felt very safe in Israel.”

Another miracle: this year in Jerusalem

Alex wrote about how important the trip was to him: “If you are a human being I think it is important to go Israel at some point in your lifetime to see the magnitude of what has happened in one ‘tiny’ country in the Middle East.”

Now that everyone is home safely, Alex’s parents shared how they felt about the trip: “There is a sense of great joy, of accomplishment, and of tremendous gratitude, an awareness of how the universe provides,” said Debbie.

“Physicians who manage this kind of illness in the intensive care unit would give you very grim numbers about survival, about one in a thousand. So he beat the odds,” said Debbie. “And he was fierce in his determination to go to Israel. He was going to make it happen.  It’s sort of another miracle, that we could do this with him.”

Inclusion for those living with disabilities

Twenty percent of Americans and Israelis have disabilities, but how many are fully included in “normal” life?  “Our trip was amazing, a huge success—so we want people who have disabled family members or who are themselves disabled to know how accessible Israel can be,” said Paul.

“He was able to realize his dream,” adds Debbie.

Back now in Michigan, Alex continues his rehab with his characteristic determination, and advocates for epilepsy awareness. There is no doubt that with two miracles under his belt, anything he is now determined to do, he will accomplish.

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